Just one kiss for good luck -hurt-

von **Bloodpaw** Sa Apr 18 2020, 14:25

MCU Justin Hammer -hurt-

Being seventeen sucked, it was neither as exciting as most people had hoped for it to be nor was it in any way cool. And now, even with his certificate in hand and the allowance to visit the MIT and study there – a thing he had never hoped for, he didn't know what to do. During his high school days drinking had been a solution that came far too easily, and now during his time at MIT the drugs that came there as well … they had only worsened the situation but for a short time he had felt some sort of relief at least - all pressure taken and the highess washed away the deeply lying sadness that an opressed young gay man ususally had.

So it was no surprise he took out the small bag of white powder – cocaine – only to tab a bit of it on the back of his hand, frowning and halting for a second only to shrug to himself, snort the powder and close his eyes.
One of many nights.

He did not have friends here, maybe classmates he talked to from time to time but nothing regular. He also was alone in his dorm room so he hardly got the chance to socialize with anyone.
It was his first year and he had already taken to drugs to make him feel better. To make him cope in this place that was far more lonely than he had thought it would ever be.

A friend - or well, someone who attended the same classes as him - had told him about the party - well not exactly party but a lot of his fellow students were at the bar, so why not join them? There was nothing speaking for nor against it. He could get high of he didn't get the attention he desperately searched out.. All Justin wanted was some approval and a friend to talk to.
And the chance that Tony Stark could be there as well was enough to make him want to go. He had seen the boy across campus from time to time, had heard of his intelligence and intellect but also about his wild parties and the tendency to destroy himself.
To Justin they sounded similar and while Stark was said to be a rich asshole he wanted nothing more but to interact with the man.

Justin dressed in casual clothes, black skinny jeans and a green shirt that complimented his eyes or at least he hoped it did. He even cleaned his glasses and styled his short brown hair. Not as if it would matter. After all, he wasn't interested in girls. And boys usually weren't gay, not openly so and if they were most simply were not into him. But that was just how it is and he found himself wondering why he even tried.

Because a small part of him still believed that he could get laid too, yeah he didn't even hope for love anymore but he was touch starved enough to just want someone to want him. Even if only for one night, hell even one hour one hour feeling loved would be enough. Of course he was still young and a lot of things could happen until he was older but for this part of his life he was ready to settle for flings and nothing serious at all. As it didn't seem to happen anyways.

And that was how he found himself in the club, surrounded by a bunch of drunk and tipsy people far too little were sober or even semi sober and Justin almost felt overwhelmed by the whole atmosphere.he truly felt out of place here.

Kai -the guy which had dragged him here- was currently leaning against the counter, arms around a girl and looking like he did not want to be bothered by anyone and so Justin's gaze wandered around some more. He felt even more out of place.

After a while of just standing there and watching everyone chat with /someone/ he grew sick of it and strolled to the bar to order himself a drink.
Jack daniels with coke or as he heard a german exchange student call it: "Jacky Cola".
Enough alcohol to taste it but not nearly enough to get drunk from a glass or two. After all a drink or two wouldn't ruin the day - spoil it even. He was not doing anything interesting anyway.

But as the night rolled around with no one to talk to the question why he had even bothered to come here tonight left a bitter taste that Justin washed down with more alcohol.
Around 10pm he was already tipsy enough to feel the heat it left in his face and how his thoughts had a tendency to slip away now. Nothing too bad yet, if he had to he could still focus and think sharp.
All in all being less sober than before occurred to him as a good thing.

Earlier tonight a boy had caught his eyes one with brown hair, brownish long hair and with glasses that did not suit him. Maybe they were not his - maybe a new fashion trend. Justin had seen a couple of fellow students with glasses that were not real before.
The man was awfully overdressed clad in a suit jacket and dress pants.

Yet Justin couldn't help it but to think of it as attractive. The man had something incredible handsome but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. He had almost forgotten about him by the time the man sat down next to him, pulling the bar stoop a little closer to Justin which made him look over and take in a sharp breath.
He hadn't expected anyone to sit with him tonight.
Justin showed the other man a hesitant smile, not sure how to react to the fact that he had sat next to him. He didn't want to get too excited -maybe it meant nothing after all- after all he didn't want to scare the other away.

The possibility was there and it wouldn't be the first time Justin scared people away with how easily excited he could be. Maybe the handsome stranger just wanted to order a drink, or was waiting for a friend - his date - perhaps.
It didn't explain why he had scooted his chair over to Justin -maybe it meant nothing, maybe it meant something.
Justin turned his upper body a little to face him properly, realising he didn't know his name. They had yet to introduce themselves to each other.

"Hey, names Tommy. Haven't seen you around before." Oh- at least one question seemed to be solved now.
The stranger - Tommy - gave him a smile in return which lit his eyes and Justin found himself smiling as well.
"Justin." He introduced himself, not sure if it was asked to hold out his hand for the other to shake or not. He decided not to, after all that would be a little weird now as a couple of seconds had already passed. Now to his embarrassment, Justin realised that he hadn't replied to the second part of Tommy's introduction.
"Uh- uhm yeah. I got invited to come along tonight- he is over there with his girl and I'm pretty bored."

Tommy gave a small nod at that but didn't even glance in the direction Justin had pointed at, as if he didn't really care. But Justin didn't either.

"I see. Well, I'm not into girls anyway. You in year one?"

Now that was a piece of information Justin wasn't sure how to react to. Did tommy imply that he was gay? Could it be true? Sure, it didn't have to mean he was interested in Justin but it could be a topic to talk about. Finally someone he could exchange himself with!
But before Justin said anything to probably embarrass himself he realise something possibly terrible.
What if this was just a big joke, so the other students could laugh at him later- what if someone just wanted to prank Justin or black mail him for being openly gay?
Enough of the fellow students had caught on already and it mostly wasn't very pleasant.

The risk was too high, therefore Justin decided to simply nod his head. Acknowledge the information but don't over share.
"First year, yeah. Majoring in engineering and ch-"
Tommy interrupted him mid sentence:

"Ah yeah, I'm in year three. Majors are chemistry and IT. It's pretty cool given that IT Is the most difficult subject and I am having straight A's."
Tommy sounded arrogant and Justin frowned slightly at that. It wasn't a field he was interested in but he did know a thing or two, he could probably sit in the same lecture as the other man and still understand it. But Tommy kept talking anyways and Justin only listened to him with the slightest hint of a smile.
Whatever, he was pleasantly tipsy and someone was finally talking to him. It wasn't Tony Stark -the famous boy from fourth grade that shared the same majors as him and was admittedly handsome- but it was someone.

"..like the most basic is already too hard for some to understand." And with that Justin had missed the beginning of yet another one of Tommy's sentences but deemed it as not important anyway. Tommy didn't seem to mind that Justin had not replied yet.
The topic was boring and he instantly knew what Tommy meant with these so called basics.
Binocular language.
He knew binocular language and for a split second he toyed with the thought of replying in the pattern of numbers that came to him easy enough.

Tommy was handsome and Justin liked watching him talk. Maybe he really was gay and they could maybe kiss a little later- make out if the other was interested enough..
For now he decided against replying and just continued to listen to the other brag about binocular numbers and coding before he ordered himself yet another drink the same as before. The night was young and he was far too sober.

Tommy chimed in to the order by asking for a whiskey, then he kept talking about the binocular code again and how everyone should learn it as in his opinion one day the whole world will use it.
By now Justin had thought that the topic was a closed one but now he had enough of the other bragging on and on about his oh so perfect skills. Maybe he himself was only in year one but he'll be damned if he didn't manage to understand it too. Also, he didn't want Tommy to think he was stupid. No one wanted to fuck someone who was stupid..

They were all attending MIT everyone in the bar, so of course no one really was stupid but Justin didn't need anyone to think he was less just because it was his first year.
Now he didn't want to be rude and waited for a moment to talk which got provided when Tommy took a sip of his whiskey.

"01001001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100101 01100001 01110011 01111001."

And for a while Tommy just stared at him, not sure what to make of that and how to reply to it.

After a moment he shook his head. "Yeah right." And with that he moved on and started to tell Justin about how hard his chemistry class was to which Justin only grinned. He was majoring in chemistry and he was good at it, he was taking courses for the later years on the side as his current one bored him and he also knew that Tommy didn't know what he had said. But these numbers simply meant:
"it is easy." To which he had implied that the code wasn't all that hard once you have deciphered it. Easy enough to memorize and casually use in a conversation.

As the minutes rolled by Justin had emptied yet another glass and had ordered his sixth one, knowing that he was passing tipsy and diving straight into drunk. But who cares.
By now they had moved to a booth, sitting extremely close together and talking in hushed voices about atoms and a possible sun eruption. It was fun and Justin was at the peak of his element. Not that Tommy seemed to care, he dragged him through subject of subject always implying how hard it was and how good he understood it. Justin kept his mouth shut about competence and just nodded here and there, scooting a little closer.

After a brief visit to the toilet - where he had realised that he was more drunk than he had thought he was- he let himself fall next to Tommy again, relieved and a bit surprised that he was still there, on his third whiskey by now and at least tipsy.

For a moment Justin's whole world spinned and with a drunken giggle he rested his head on Tommy's shoulder, fingers brushing over the fine material of the other's jacket, humming softly and toying with the hem of it as he zoomed out a little.

When he came back to his senses, it mustn't be more than five minutes later, he was still brushing his fingers over it, but now toying with the expensive looking watch. He realised that this watch was how he knew how much time had passed and decided to try and focus on Tommy again.
But he really couldn't. His brain was all fuzzy and he didn't manage to get a grip of their ongoing conversation again - or well monologue at this point.
Then he blinked and shook his head slightly.
Tommy glanced at him and smiled, "you know the whiskey is really good.." he trailed off and lifted the glass to Justin to which he only grinned.
"Yeah?" He asked, not certain if that had been an invitation to taste it or not but as Tommy lifted it a little closer he took the glass and took a sip, nodding slightly with a grin. "Yeah..real good." He mumbled, head back on Tommy's shoulder.

Tommy hadn't rejected him till now and Justin would do anything to get a little closer, the desperation hitting him almost unpleasantly. It wasn't exactly a sexual desperation either, more of a need for affection and a body to touch.
Tommy had tolerated him on his shoulder and… oh his thoughts were drifting away as Tommy wound his fingers through his hair for a few moments.

It took him another couple of minutes to sit up again, shoulder against shoulder with Tommy as he leaned a little closer.

Tommy had tolerated him till now, he shared his whiskey, talked to him about very interesting things and on top of it had worked his fingers through Justin's hair. It must have meant something, right? He had even let Justin touch him so… maybe they could kiss just a little now?

Justin felt how fast his heart was beating and he swallowed thickly before he cleared his throat to speak.
"Would you kiss me?" He then asked sounding shy with his cheeks flushing red almost instantly.

But that was all it took to make Tommy sober up. He quickly pulled away, laughed and shook his head. "I'd rather not."
All of a sudden his voice sounded cold and Justin felt how his heart almost stopped beating at that.
Blackmail.

But it wasn't. Tommy got up and shook his head again. "You're not my type."

And with that Justin was left to sit alone with tears streaming down his face. He didn't know where those tears came from but they were there and he felt more rejected and alone than ever before.
Tommy had given him the signals that this was appropriate, they had been somewhat cuddling and he had let Justin taste his whiskey! It didn't make sense.

Had he been toyed with all night long?

It hurt and Justin had barely enough strength to get up and leave the bar, embarrassment and shame hot on his face as he made his way back to his dorm, crying on the way.
Just one kiss, was that too much to ask for?